In the Korean war, thousands of US soldiers were captured and detained in North Korea POW camps.  These camps were unique in military history.  Soldiers in them had adequate food, water and shelter.   They weren’t tortured or even held in captivity by barbed wire and armed guards.  But they had an astounding death rate—38% of the prisoners died.  More than half of those died from what the soldiers themselves called “give-up-itis.”

Men would simply walk into their hut, sit down in a corner, pull a blanket over their head, and be dead within two days. There was no medical reason for their deaths. They just… gave up.

How did this happen?

The army psychiatrist who studied this afterward called it “the ultimate weapon”—systematic isolation and discouragement.  The North Koreans did four things:

1. They encouraged distrust by rewarding even trivial informants with cigarettes.
   
2. They eroded caring and goodwill by regularly forcing soldiers to confess in front of their peers every infraction, character flaw and weakness.
   
3. They destroyed respect for leadership by using the leaders to erratically enforce meaningless and arbitrary rules.
   
4. They flooded them with negative emotions by withholding all positive outside correspondence and delivering every negative one immediately—notices of deaths, divorces, overdue bills.

The Koreans understood something we often forget: isolation and discouragement can kill. They systematically destroyed what kept those men alive—community, hope, and caring relationships.

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Hebrews 10:24-25

God, of course, understands this too. That’s why the writer of Hebrews doesn’t suggest encouragement as a nice option—he pleads with the readers to encourage each other – it’s essential to our survival and flourishing.

‘And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.’ Hebrews 10:24-25

Let’s be Intentional

Notice how the verse begins: ‘Let us consider’—give thoughtful attention to this. North Korea gave careful consideration to how to discourage and kill soldiers without lifting a finger against them.  The opposite of those POW camps isn’t accidental kindness or random encouragement. It’s intentional, strategic, thoughtful care for one another.

Let’s do what the verse says—let’s consider together: How do we actually spur one another on?

How Encouragement Works

Encouragement is the process of providing the support and motivation which “gives courage” to overcome obstacles or achieve goals.  Psychologists have identified three types of motivation which help us understand how to spur each other on. They are: intrinsic, social, and goal-oriented motivation.   

Intrinsic motivation: I am motivated by my ideals and values.
For example: I journal because it helps me process my thoughts and feelings, and I value my sanity.

Social motivation: I’m motivated by those around me—their examples, their presence, their care.
For example: I wanted to mature when I saw my mother start to grow spiritually when I was in my teens.

Goal-oriented motivation: I’m motivated by thinking about the future I desire.
For example: I gave my kids a ‘compassion sibling’ as a tenth birthday present in order to give them practice caring for others.

God designed us to respond to all three types of motivation, and appeals to all three when He tells us to spur one another on.

Love and Good Deeds

First He tells us what direction to spur one another on: ‘toward love and good deeds’.  These ideals appeal to our intrinsic motivation.  They are in themselves worthy of pursuit, because they align with who God created us to be.

How can I pursue these ideals?

• I can be committed to growing. When I am committed to becoming whole and healthy, I am pursuing love and doing good for both myself and others.  When I don’t deal with my issues, that distorts my ability to love others and do good, which affects everyone around me.
  
• I can be careful about my environment. The music and podcasts I listen to, the shows I watch, the books I read, the conversations I have—these influence me and those around me.
  
• I can guard and cultivate my attitude.  This is a big one for me lately.  If I get out of the habit of thanking God for little things, or stop working out consistently, let myself eat too much sugar or don’t get enough sleep, or any host of other good practices, I lose a pleasant disposition pretty quickly!  A bad attitude is decidedly not spurring myself nor anyone else toward love and good deeds.

But we’re not meant to pursue love and good deeds in isolation. The next part of the verse addresses how we do this—together. 

Doing it Together

The verse encourages us to ‘not give up meeting together’—appealing to our social motivation.  We need each other for community, support and even correction.

The prisoners died when they were isolated and discouraged. God wired us for community—it’s not optional, it’s essential.

How does meeting together spur us on?

• Following and setting positive examples.  Being around people who are growing spiritually motivates me to take my spiritual walk seriously too.  As an adult, I have found it very helpful to seek out mentors as well as younger women to mentor—it helps me become the person God wants me to be. 
  
• Doing it together. Mutual encouragement is powerful.  I see this everywhere.  I like to be part of groups that study the Bible together.  My family has built a ministry of serving missionaries and ministries together with others—serving together toward a common goal is now my favorite way to develop friendships. 
  
• Remembering God sees and cares. Matthew 6:1-4 says that God rewards the good we do in secret. When my kids were little, I used to count and report to God the number of diapers I changed at the end of each day.  I needed to remind myself that even mundane things matter to Him.
  
• Being mindful of God’s presence. Philippians 4:5 reminds us ‘Let your gentleness be known to all, for The Lord is near.’  I often catch myself with the reminder to be gentle with my husband or kids, because God really is right here, watching how I treat them.

Looking to the Future

This passage ends with goal-oriented motivation, saying ‘and all the more as you see the Day approaching’. The writer wants us to think about the future we’re building.

‘The Day’ is probably referring to the Day of the Lord—where we’ll be rewarded for our lives as believers.  I want to be able to stand victoriously before Christ, having encouraged others and myself to follow Him well.  I want us all to hear ‘well done, good and faithful servant’.

Thinking of the future we’re building also applies to every aspect of life—parenting and marriage, and all relationships.  What does it look like to sow seeds for ten years from now?

• Parenting for tomorrow’s teen.  When I’m with a young child and I’m not sure how to deal with a situation (or I’m tempted to parent from irritation or exhaustion), I need to think “How I handle this sets the pattern for the next 10 years, so what outcome am I building?”, and choose the action based on the result I want, who I want the child to become, and what I want that relationship to look like.
  
• Planting marriage seeds.  We often save our best behavior for guests and outsiders, but our family needs it to.  My husband Chester models this brilliantly; I’m still learning.  I vividly recall God reminding me: He cares how I treat my husband even when I’m angry. How I treat those closest to me is sowing seeds for future fruit.
  
• Cultivating relationships.  What kind of church do I want to be a part of?  What kind of friendships do I want to have?  Tomorrow’s results (and results ten years from now) start with how well I encourage those around me today.
  

Putting it into Action

The verse gives us our instruction: ‘but encouraging one another.‘  Our motivations—intrinsic values, social connection, and goals—explain why encouragement works, but how do we encourage effectively?  This is also worth considering, because the same encouragement is felt and understood differently by each person.

Gary Chapman shared five love languages, which I have found useful as I think about encouragement.  Last week at the Free Grace International Women’s retreat in Tennessee, all of these “languages” were used, so I’ll use these as my examples.

1. Words — These were meaningful, spoken affirmations on wonderful food, devotionals and testimonies.  The women did this so well!
   
2. Gifts — The welcome bags of useful and wonderful gifts were amazing – from dark chocolate to ear plugs, a journal and a good quality pen.  I loved these!
   
3. Time — We gave our full attention.  People weren’t together but on their phones.  Instead, phones were set aside (often lost), and we were present with each other.  Even during unscheduled time, people chose to focus on conversations with each other instead of distractions.  It was beautiful!
   
4. Service — Sarah planned the meals and led the cooking, but several people helped.  Even more people cleaned up, kept the house clean, and shoveled snow for hours so we could all leave safely.
   
5. Physical Touch — Finally, we hugged and came around each other in our hurts and in our sharing.  It was meaningful and God-honoring.

Paying attention to others’ love languages is part of considering how to spur them on.

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Conclusion

Many prisoners in the Korean war died because they were systematically isolated and discouraged. But we have the opposite calling in this passage—to connect and encourage with intentional, strategic and thoughtful care.

With every word of affirmation, moment spent with someone who needs you, or burden that you carry, you’re literally making a life or death difference.  You’re weaving “Threads of Grace” that strengthen and hold people together with connections that breathe life.